The Day My Toddler Disappeared and the Vampire Snail Appeared
There is no chance that anyone would ever say my house is “boring“. I kid you not. We are a menagerie of adventures.
Take yesterday for example.
It was a sunny day. Birds were chirping. There was a mellow breeze. My children were both laughing.
Then it grew quiet. NOT a good sign.
I hollered the kiddos’ names—no reply.
The Flashback: When My Toddler Vanished
Okay, so let’s flashback to the LAST time this happened… I took a short stroll to the mailbox. I can see the steps leading to my door from the mailbox.
It took all of three minutes, and as I’m approaching the front door my then four-year-old announces that my then two-year-old is “gone.”
“What do you mean he’s GONE? Where did he go?”
This became the topic for the next 25 minutes.
I FRANTICALLY ran up and down the street SCREAMING his name.
No reply.
I searched the bushes, knocked on doors, and stopped pedestrians asking if they had seen him—or any crazily driven cars.
No reply.
After 15 more minutes of horrified INSANITY, I called 9-1-1, admitting I was today’s worst mother.
I’d like to say I was calm. But I wasn’t.
While giving my address to the dispatcher, my voice was shrill, my breathing heavy, and I was still yelling my son’s name—with NO REPLY.
Five minutes after I hung up with dispatch, MY child WALKS out of a bush (one I had checked SEVERAL times), a muddy mess, and with a big grin says, “SURPRISE!”
I’m not going to lie; my first instinct was to beat the kid to a bloody pulp! Thankfully, common sense kicked in because just moments after that, police officers stormed my porch.
Back to Yesterday: Silence Strikes Again
Okay, back to yesterday and the no reply.
My heart races from memories. But outwardly, I remain calm and collected.
I step outside and find my children basking in the sun on the sidewalk.
In front of them is a very large rock they’ve rolled from the planting area.
Meet Slug, the Vampire Snail
“Check it out, Mom. We have a new pet. His name is Slug.”
As I walk closer, I see what they have found—a snail!
My children, perfectly content, bellies on the pavement, are watching Slug move his head and antennae.
I spread out on the sidewalk with them. I watch as they gasp at every tiny movement.
They applaud like they trained this snail to wiggle its antennae on command.
My three-year-old points out, “Slug has a vampire worm on his neck that is sucking his blood.”
I look closer. Sure enough, there’s a tiny green caterpillar crawling on the snail’s neck.
His sister corrects him, “Slug is a girl! So you have to say, she has a vampire worm on her neck!”
Yeah. Because that part about the vampire worm? TOTALLY accurate.
Never a dull day here.
What’s the most surprising “pet” your kids have ever brought home? Share your wildest parenting stories in the comments below!