If you and your partner are going through a rough patch and feel like you could use some relationship advice, there are several places to turn to. In-person, at the bookstore, in magazines, and on Reddit. Forum-like threads like Reddit’s r/relationship_advice, provide a safe environment for people worldwide to describe their relationship dilemmas. All in hopes of receiving advice from other Redditors.
While this may seem like an untraditional way to get relationship advice, a lot of people find the anonymity of Reddit comforting. Still, you should remember that following strangers’ advice on the internet isn’t always the smartest idea – after all, they’re not exactly relationship professionals.
Now, we’re not saying ALL Reddit relationship advice is bad, but you should try and keep your eyes peeled for any alarming sentences.
Here are a few red flags that should signal you to look elsewhere for advice:
“They will eventually change…”
Any professional will warn you about waiting for your partner to change. An important part of a relationship is accepting your partner for who they are – flaws included. This means looking past annoying perks, NOT full-blown toxic behavior. Stay away from any advice that tells you to wait for your partner to change. Either decide whether or not their quirks are a deal-breaker, or leave your unhealthy relationship for good.
“Forgive and forget…”
People love to say that you must forgive and forget to move past conflict. But that’s only partially true! Work through your conflicts by talking about them, forgive each other once you’ve settled for a solution, AND remember why the conflict happened in the first place. It’ll keep you from repeating that scenario.
“The past is in the past…”
It’s healthy for couples to talk about their past and former relationships. Disclosing any trauma and recurring fights with exes can help you avoid any scenarios that might trigger those. You can still be a forward-looking couple even if you know about your partner’s history.
“Overlook jealousy…”
Some people believe that jealousy is a sign of a healthy relationship. Thinking your partner must really love you. And while a little jealousy isn’t a huge deal, constant jealousy is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. It can lead to controlling behavior, leading to verbal and emotional abuse. You should never overlook frequent jealous behavior.