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10 Medieval Remedies that Would be Laughable Nowadays

Dive into 10 medieval remedies that would seem absurd today, from bizarre potions to curious cures that highlight the oddities of old medicine.

You might take the various medical advancements of the 21st century for granted, but you certainly won’t after you learn more about some of the strangest medieval remedies that existed…

We all worry about our health daily, right? Thankfully, whether we’re fighting against a nagging headache or are bed-bound with a common cold, there are countless simple and easily accessible remedies we can rely on. These will help us return to our normal selves and reduce any delays in treatment.

But, as you’ll probably know, it wasn’t always this way. In the days when medicine was as far away from being standardized as you could possibly imagine, there were countless different treatments normal folk like you and I would rely on when they fell ill. Some of these are certainly more bizarre than others!

The medieval times bore witness to a whole host of strange remedies that we would understandably find laughable these days. In this article, we’ll be taking a close look at them…

Vintage styled image of a medieval alchemy lab with various bottles and a distillation flask, titled '10 Medieval Remedies That Would Be Laughable Nowadays'.

 

10 Laughable Medieval Remedies

1.    Urine for Spot, Burns, and Everything in Between

Now, I’m not sure which hospitals you’ve been to in the past but, from experience, urine isn’t something you would expect to see as a treatment option. But, in medieval times, urine was often the solution for pretty much any sort of ailment.

Spots? Urine. Burns? Urine. Insect bites? Urine. You get the idea.

Urine was also commonly used by medieval soldiers, who would clean each other’s wounds, believing that its sterilizing properties would be more beneficial than simply using water. Gross.

2.    Live Snails on the Body

Even in modern times, animals are used in a medical capacity. Take leeches, for example; while they may creep some people out, they can actually prove to be lifesavers as they help improve blood flow around certain body areas.

Snails…not so much. One common medieval remedy was to use live snails to ease burns. Yes really. Research has actually shown that snail slime contains antioxidants, anesthetics, anti-irritants, and collagen – all of which are great properties to help ease a burn.

While it is laughable to use a live snail, snail slime is used in some capacity in modern times. In fact, ‘snail gel’ is used for skin preparations and for treating minor injuries.

3.    Pulling Apart an Owl for Gout

According to Mayo Clinic, gout can be an absolute nightmare to deal with, so it’s understandable why people in the medieval ages were looking for some unique solutions. But it’s unclear how they came to this conclusion…

To treat gout, it’s been found that owls (yes, owls) were plucked open, cleaned, salted, and put into an oven. The presumably very dead owl was then pounded with boar’s grease and placed on the area of gout.

This raises a number of important questions, the most important one being: how did they even go about catching owls in the first place?

4.    Wearing Dead Animals to Treat a Migraine

How do you treat a migraine? Some paracetamol? A lie down with a cold flannel? Wearing a dead animal on your head?

Okay, so maybe not the last one.

A medieval remedy for treating a migraine was to strap dead animals onto your head, such as a mole or crocodile.

You can probably make an educated guess as to why this remedy didn’t catch on.

(NHS)

5.    Using Dung

Dung was a favorite ingredient among medieval physicians and was used for various illnesses, including lung problems and sore throats.

As unappealing as it might sound, dung was frequently celebrated for its healing properties and – even if it probably led to a range of other infections – research has shown that the microflora found in certain types of animal dung contains antibiotic substances. Maybe they were on to something?

6.    Fat Cats

No, this isn’t some sort of convoluted capitalistic metaphor. Literal fat cats were a creative method of treating sore throats, as bizarre as that might seem.

It was advised that a fat cat should be flayed and its guts removed, then combined with the fat of a bear and all manner of flora. Disgusting yet oddly interesting.

7.    Corpse Medicine

Once someone has passed away, their body can still be of medical use – think organ donors and blood transfusions.

But, in medieval times, that was taken to another level altogether.

For instance, someone’s powdered skull was often a remedy for common headaches, and powdered bones were used for arthritis.

The Romans took it one step further, drinking the blood and eating the organs of recently deceased soldiers, hoping that their spirits would be transferred.

8.    A Bull’s Gall Mixture for a Stye

Styes are annoying little things, aren’t they? Thankfully, they can be treated pretty easily with some salt water and, if needed, some antibiotics these days.

In medieval times, a complex (and probably very smelly) mixture of onion, garlic, wine, and bull’s gall was the solution. It probably would have worked well, in all honesty. Onion, garlic, and bull’s gall all have antibiotic properties. It wouldn’t have exactly been pleasant, however.

9.    Dragon’s Blood for Stomach Problems

The idea of drinking dragon’s blood might seem a little Game of Thrones, but it’s not as far-fetched as you might think.

Unfortunately, the dragon’s blood used to help treat stomach problems didn’t come from the fictional fire-breathing variety.

Instead, it’s probably bright red resin from a Dracaena Draco tree.

10. Astrology

These days, doctors don’t rely on the planet’s movement when making decisions regarding the sort of treatment they should provide their patients. That said, this was often the case in medieval times.

Based on the Zodiac Man image, Doctors pay close attention to the zodiac signs to determine the specific time they should treat certain ailments. This wasn’t exactly the most productive approach…

Are There Any Other Laughable Medieval Remedies You Can Think of?

And there we have it! Thankfully, medicine has come on a very long way since these long-gone times. So, we won’t have to worry about wearing a mole on our heads while we drink dragon’s blood any time soon.

Did any of the medieval remedies surprise you? Are there any more examples you can think of? Feel free to leave a comment below with your suggestions!

Please be advised that this article is for general informational purposes only and should not be used as a substitute for advice from a trained medical professional. Be sure to consult a medical professional or healthcare provider if you’re seeking medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment. We are not liable for risks or issues associated with using or acting upon the information on this site.

About Julee: Julee Morrison is an experienced author with 35 years of expertise in parenting and recipes. She is the author of four cookbooks: The Instant Pot College Cookbook, The How-To Cookbook for Teens, The Complete Cookbook for Teens, and The Complete College Cookbook. Julee is passionate about baking, crystals, reading, and family. Her writing has appeared in The LA Times (Bon Jovi Obsession Goes Global), Disney's Family Fun Magazine (August 2010, July 2009, September 2008), and My Family Gave Up Television (page 92, Disney Family Fun August 2010). Her great ideas have been featured in Disney's Family Fun (Page 80, September 2008) and the Write for Charity book From the Heart (May 2010). Julee's work has also been published in Weight Watchers Magazine, All You Magazine (Jan. 2011, February 2011, June 2013), Scholastic Parent and Child Magazine (Oct. 2011), Red River Family Magazine (Jan. 2011), BonAppetit.com, and more. Notably, her article "My Toddler Stood on Elvis' Grave and Scaled Over Boulders to Get to a Dinosaur" made AP News, and "The Sly Way I Cured My Child's Lying Habit" was featured on PopSugar. When she's not writing, Julee enjoys spending time with her family and exploring new baking recipes.
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