The journey this week has been one of absolute awareness.
Wednesday was my first “day out of bed” after pneumonia. I was still not feeling 100% but life has to go on at our house.
Thursday, I treated myself to new hair. I went back to my natural hair color (dark brown) with a ton of highlights–to help hide the gray that lurks just beyond my scalp. The magic maker (hair stylist) assured me it would only take two hours. That turned into four hours when she realized how much hair I have–apparently cutting my hair has only introduced her to the ends, not the thickness underneath!
From my hair I was in a mad dash to get downtown to meet my best buddy, Angie. It was her birthday and I was taking her to dinner and Celtic Woman. In all this frenzy I was cursing myself for making time for me.
Friday I had Grandma. It’s her hair appointment and errands day. I was still back-peddling from that four hours hair appointment reminding myself I have plenty to do without taking a break like that.
And then Saturday came.
It started out mellow. Jake came up to drop off the wedding invitations and go over wedding plans.
I did some cleaning and we had a Cottonelle In House Party to celebrate Earth Date.
Then the phone call came from Jake, my oldest. His dad, my ex-husband, had a heart-attack and was in the hospital. Time stood still while I tried to wrap my mind around that.
I was listening to my son, who had just told me that morning that he has had a lot of growing up to do. That he is starting his own family and wants to build a relationship with his family. And now, a matter of a few hours later, that same son is calling his brother in Miami, his Mom and giving updates and making arrangements for The Beauty Queen.
Time hovered as I realized my weight could lead to the same for me. All this pain, all this hurt could be because of me.
I can tell you that I am happy. I am.
I can tell you that I am confident in myself. I am.
I know I am over-weight. I struggle. Nutrisystem I know works and while I have met every obstacle I am determined to commit to it and keep going.
Seeing my children hurt because of something they have no control over. The fear they felt because they could have lost someone they admire and love is the most horrific thing I’ve ever seen my children have to endure.
I realize that I need to slow down. Focus on me. I need to make the time to do for myself. To go for a walk. To bike ride and more. I need to live my life rather than choose for it to be structured and everything on a deadline.
My husband lectured me. It wasn’t anything I didn’t already know. Here’s the facts of what he shared:
Look at that list. The leading causes of death for all females, all ages are 1. ) Heart Disease and 3.) Stroke. How many of the other eight causes are related to being over-weight? Even number 6.) Unintentional Injuries–because let’s face it, I never intended to look like the Michelin Man!
Eighteen days from now Jake is getting married.
I’m going to be there.
I’m also going to be there when my other children get married. I vowed I would always be there for my children and I realize in order to keep that promise, I’m going to need to really work on this body.
My biggest obstacle is journaling. Even though Nutrisystem comes pre-portioned, the journaling helps me. It is a reminder that I already ate. That I don’t want a cupcake (okay, I really do, but I don’t NEED it). It’s a reflection of where I am going and why.
I’m doing this for me.
I’m doing this because I am not going to cause my children the pain and fear they have been living since Saturday.
This week…my Nutrisystem plan was minimal due to still being on anti-biotics and working through pneumonia…I lost .1 pounds. It’s a tiny number, but they add up.
I am focused.
I can do this.
Want to lose weight and get healthy on Nutrisystem? Join today by calling 1-888-853-4689 or by visiting Nutrisystem online.
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