This week has been about preparing me for my journey with Nutrisystem.
While I waited for my first order to arrive, I set to getting into the mind set to do this. I was thinking how this was like the journey of a hero.
1.) The Call to Adventure: I’ve given notice that everything is going to change.
My thoughts on food are going to need to shift from stuff your face for every mood, to that acceptance that food is fuel.
My body is going to change…hopefully for the better.
I’m going to need to move more and exercise.
2.) Refusal of the Call: There have been days when I have refused to heed it. I’m fearful. I’m insecure. I wonder if I can do it and a plethora of other excuses.
3.) Supernatural Aid: I’ve committed to this quest and Nutrisystem is my guide and magical helper.
4.) Crossing the First Thresh-hold: Tomorrow I actually cross into the field of adventure, leaving the known limits of my world and venturing into an unknown journey.
5.) The Belly of the Whale: That final separation from my known world and self. My lowest point. I fully recognize my current world and self and the potential for my new world/self. My experiences that will shape the new me will begin tomorrow. I am willing to undergo this metamorphosis.
As I thought about the similarities of Joseph Campbell’s Hero and myself there was some dark waters. In one moment of thought it occurred to me that it wasn’t until recently that I was called “FAT”…this is not to say that others didn’t think this, or speak it behind my back. I’m talking about TO MY FACE.
There is pain in this. I don’t care how old someone is; those words are horrific and rip apart any self-worth the person may have had. I don’t think I really gave thought to it at the time–why hang on to someone else’s baggage? But in preparing for this transition I faced those demons.
My dad has called me fat. Ouch! Right? At the time I snipped that this is probably why he is single after thirty years. I pointed out that if you judged me by appearance solely, you’d be missing out on a lot of personality and a great person who is loyal and kind. He didn’t get it.
On Wednesday I took Charlotte the Great shopping for a blouse for the Tiffany & Co. Breakfast. As we were in the dressing room, I was cooing over this blouse and cardigan that I just had to have. I tried it on and looked in the mirror. It was my grandmother’s voice that said, “You need to lose weight!”
While sitting across from my husband, who has lost an incredible 90 pounds on his own and kept it off, I realized he was looking gaunt and sunken. I commented on how he didn’t look very well and needed to put on a little bit of weight. He took the defense and said, “Do you think you look any less ugly sitting there?”
After the kiddos watched me film a live segment for ABC4, my two younger children enthusiastically offered, “Mom, when they zoomed in on your face it took up the WHOLE camera. It was THIS big!” They puffed out their cheeks and parenthesis using their arms!
And finally, after spending an afternoon with someone I truly admire and have known for nearly three decades, we continued our game of “sharing is caring”. I’m not sure how or when it started but after seeing one another we always relayed a positive and constructive feedback. This time, I was told, “You’re enthusiastic!” and my constructive–“LOSE weight. A LOT of weight.”
Four moments from six of the closest people in my life where they didn’t see the person I am inside. They couldn’t get past the cover. It made me cry. I felt vulnerable and it crushed my spirit.
Tomorrow I start Nutrisystem. I’m excited. I’m doing this for myself because I NEVER want to be told I am fat, I need to lose weight (a lot of weight) and that my face takes up the entire camera.
I’m doing this because I deserve it.
I. Am. Ready. For the journey of hero–and this time, I get to be the hero!
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.” I have been selected to participate in the Nutrisystem Blogging Program. I will receive Nutrisystem. NO other compensation will be given. The opnions are my own and are in now way influenced by the sponsor. Others experiences may vary.