The divorce rates have been dropping over the last few years, reports The Guardian.
However, millions of people still choose to part ways with their spouses.
Telling your spouse about this might very well be one of the most stressful parts of the entire ordeal.
Therefore, you should do everything possible to minimize the damage during this conversation.
4 Tips on How to Tell Your Spouse That You Want a Divorce
1. Be honest
Absolute honesty should be your default setting for this conversation.
It won’t make things easier, but it’s necessary to help prevent many issues that strive from misunderstandings and not expressing your position fully.
Note that you need to be honest not only with your spouse when explaining to them your reasons for wanting a divorce.
You also need to be brutally honest with yourself.
Answering these questions will give you the conviction you need to get through both this difficult conversation and the divorce itself.
2. Be prepared
To make the discussion go as smoothly as possible (which isn’t smooth at all), you should be as prepared as you can possibly be.
Start with writing a list of reasons for why you want a divorce.
You can add a list of examples to each if the situation demands it.
Consider even trying to write a ‘speech’ you will start the conversation with.
It might not be perfect, but having some solid plan will help you stay composed.
You also need to prepare for the divorce itself.
Depending on how the conversation goes, you might go into ‘technical details’ of it right away.
For this, you can research uncontested divorce online.
Learn everything you need about how to make the divorce least stressful and reduce legal issues that might occur during the process.
Note that you should also prepare some preliminary plans for the division of assets and custody.
It might be best to consult a divorce lawyer and a counselor to help you prepare for this conversation from different angles.
3. Get a mediator
If the situation is volatile, you should consider getting a mediator to help with this conversation.
This is the best choice for divorces that involve a lot of emotional strain, for example in the case of cheating.
A mediator should be completely neutral, which means the best option is a family counselor.
In fact, counseling might be an option you can discuss during this conversation as you will both need it to get through with the divorce.
4. Avoid justifications and accusations
In the majority of cases, your spouse will lash out verbally in response to your statement that you want a divorce.
It’s vitally important that you don’t react to it and try to justify your choices thus fueling the argument.
Worse yet, you mustn’t bring in any accusations of how this whole thing is their fault.
No matter what the exact situation is, it takes two people to break a relationship.
Therefore, hurling accusations will help no one and won’t solve anything.
It does, however, make the whole situation more complicated and ugly.
Therefore, your priority should always be to stay reasonable, regardless of the emotions boiling inside of you.
Just let your partner blow off their steam and continue talking in a calm and collected manner.
Remember, you don’t have to justify yourself to anyone.
You are an adult and if you believe this course of action is the best for you, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
The reasons for divorce vary greatly, but no matter what yours is, you should try to keep your cool when talking to your spouse.
Honesty both with yourself and your partner is key to getting through this.
And having a good mediator will be best if either of you has a temper.
Follow these tips for telling your spouse you want a divorce and hopefully, you’ll be on your way to a peaceful divorce.