I still remember my first love, and I guess everyone does. We all have spent time dreaming of Him or doodling Her name in the copybook, asking Her to dance in a shaky voice, preparing for the first date, happily and nervously awaiting His call. It was school love, a great warm feeling of first affection.
What do I feel?
Undoubtedly, the first experience of falling in love isn’t the love itself yet. This new and exciting affection can develop into different relationships. It can be a romantic relationship, infatuation, or real emotional closeness. Sometimes, young boys and girls can take attraction to the most profound feeling of love. Teens learn many essential things about life and themselves. They learn to experience and reveal feelings, to receive, and to give support to each other.
Today the feelings have many more ways of expression. Kids get closer through social media profiles, Instagram photos, letting alone mobile phones, and video calls. Sometimes it makes the school love look just like a game. The dating itself may become a status thing, a way to be cool at school.
Few months after the first kiss…
The unforgettable experience remains with us all the life, but rarely does the person who awakened it. Though some couples fall in love at school, grow up, and marry each other, mostly they break in a few months. Teens are changing fast, and often two people don’t change the same way. Also, they want to try out something new and get a different experience. Sometimes, people want different things and understand it – like, he wants more physical intimacy, and she wants romantic relationships. For adults, it is evident that the breakup is hardly inevitable, but when you are in love for the first time, you often believe it is forever. So, the end may be really overwhelming. And the parents are to help kids to mend their broken hearts and understand that a change is for good.
What should parents do?
First of all, parents have to get prepared in advance. You knew that the child would change your life! Before it starts, discuss with your child important points:
the age when people fall in love, and what they do about it
what are love, trust, attraction, and closeness
the age when it is OK to begin dating and going out
how should people behave on the dates
It is extremely important to show kids that they are welcome to share their opinion with you, that you’ll do your best to understand them and certainly support them in any circumstances.
Keep calm and support
When your kid falls in love, have patience, and don’t criticize his/her choice. Your child’s feelings deserve respect. Even if the person doesn’t meet your standard, be mild, and don’t embarrass the kid. You need him to trust you, to tell you about the dating, about the first kiss, about his dreams and concerns.
Help them to find a balance between relationships and everything else.
Prevent your kid from speaking on the phone and chatting on Facebook days and nights.
Suggest some exciting activities for them to spend time together or with other friends. Explain, how great it is to have common interests.
The worst possible thing about it is that your child may get distracted from academic efforts. You have to provide support. As mentioned above, you should explain that it is essential to keep the balance, and you should control the time is spent on dating or wasted on endless telephone talks and chatting. Talk to the teacher to keep updated. Maybe, if it is gone too far, you’ll need to help your kid with academic assignments at Edu Birdie.
When your child is recovering from the breakup, your support is significant. Don’t expect him or her to get over it themselves quickly. Make sure, and they talk out the pain. Remind them of self-respect and tell examples of your life. Offer them some captivating activities to distract them from bad thoughts. Remember, school love is an important part of growing up!