While my children know they can come to me about anything and there will be an open ear waiting and non-judging heart, being an Ambassador for the U by Kotex Tween program has given me a greater connection to my daughters. The program was designed to help moms (or caregivers) prepare themselves and their daughters for their first period.
It’s a tough topic, but one we need to visit. Without the talk we may be setting the standard that menses is something to be ashamed of–while it isn’t exactly dinner conversation, it isn’t something to run from either. I remember my own body changing. It was a roller-coaster of emotions and I had questions. Educating my daughters to feel confident and feel prepared to welcome this change within their own bodies is something I want to succeed in doing.
I’ve been honest with my girls. Even after 30 years of having my cycle, I don’t know everything. I still have questions. I rely on resources that are out there and my own experiences to get through each month, answer my own questions and sometimes I even have to reach out to my own mom. U by Kotex is giving us all the confidence to tackle the monthly moment and my daughters are even beginning to share with their friends the U by Kotex website that’s safe and created as a place just for them to find answers, learn ways to manage and be at peace with puberty, even if it’s just a small way.
This past month we went shopping for a training bra. It was a great afternoon. It made me realize that sometimes “Girls Day Out” doesn’t have to be the same routine. I can use this as an opportunity to talk to my daughters as I would my friends. I can be myself and so can they. We loved shopping the racks and I loved seeing how truly diverse my girls are in their style and taste!
It’s so easy to be caught up in the schedule and the routine. I complain that I have chronic exhaustion, but I know that my time with my children is limited. I have Jake who married in May. I gained a new daughter, but those mommy/son moments where we just indulge are fewer. He has his own schedule, family, job, obligations and dreams.
Sunday I will be leaving with my two girls and Li’l Man to head home. It’s my first trip back in ten years. These three children will be meeting six cousins for the first time. My girls are excited I get to see my mom and are talking about the day when they grow up, move away and get to come home to visit. Will their rooms be just as they left them? Where will everyone stay? What holidays do they like best? It’s fun to think about and we are truly looking forward to being part of something bigger than we have had in our own intimate celebrations.
I believe that talking to our children must be a priority. We are going to fail in many aspects as parents. I hope my failures are the ones that are small and in the end meant very little. I hope that my success comes from my children being confident in all their endeavors. That I can fill their buckets of self-esteem so high that no matter what out there tries to fill it full of holes, it remains full. I want them to know that I am here. I always have time to talk to them. I want them to believe they can talk to me about anything–ask my whatever it is that holds them back and I pray that I have the courage to rise up, answer it honestly and accept that they are going to grow up.
I know that in order for these things to fall in to place I will have to make an effort to spend one on one time with each of my children. To listen wisely, judge less and be open to discovering new things.
I hope, when the look back, they remember the moments we spent sharing time and talking in puberty, rather than feeling awkward and unprepared. I’m laying the foundation for many things and I will not fail them.
“I wrote this review while participating in a Brand Ambassador Campaign by Mom Central Consulting on behalf of U by Kotex Tween and received products to facilitate my post and a promotional item to thank me for taking the time to participate.”