- 1 Is Social Media dictating your Life?
- 2 Do you envy what others advertise?
- 3 Are you drawn to others’ successes in what you feel you are failing in; your insecurities?
- 4 Are you happy when others are posting unhappy situations on social media?
- 5 Are you addicted to the gossip and drama social media provides?
- 6 Solution:
There are many times when, as a blogger, I feel privacy issues. I want to share opportunities and how travel, products, recipes, and such fit into our real, everyday life, but at the same time, my nature is boundaries. Being on social media has also brought forward in my feelings sometimes of jealousy as everyone is sharing how great their lives are–seemingly perfect. You know the posts. The flip side is the toxic posts where folks tend to vent about people and how horrible their lives are.
I suppose it all comes full circle as I realize social media allows individuals to create a life they want, be who they want to be–mask their shortcomings and accelerate their success. Social media stimulates us, confirms our importance, allows us to connect with others, and provides a distraction or escape from our own life.
LA-area therapist, Sherrie Campbell, Ph.D., a veteran Psychologist, is seeing a trend — celebrities and regular clients who need to put boundaries on relationships. She categorizes relationships regarding people you let past your picket fence, in your yard, and those you let onto your porch.
Your Porch – Your chosen family
Your Yard – Your social circle
Your Fence – People in your life who need boundaries
She shares tips to help cleanse the social media mind and recognize the 5 ways social media is a negative influence on self-esteem.
Questions to Ask To Discover If You Need a Break from Social Media:
Is Social Media dictating your Life?
It is if it’s the very first thing you are thinking about when you wake up and if it is keeping up with it all day is disruptive to your real-world life. It is a voyeuristic habit that often determines our mood, our thoughts about ourselves, and if we are important or as important as others.
Do you envy what others advertise?
When we are lonely or not feeling good in our own lives, and we see that others are posting pictures of all their successes and happy adventures in love and with family, we may get the feeling they have something in life we don’t and become envious or depressed. When this begins to poison and downgrade the way you look at your life, then you must take inventory on if this is healthy for you and your relationships with those around you and those posting the items.
Are you drawn to others’ successes in what you feel you are failing in; your insecurities?
It is easy to look out and feel that others are doing better, living better, and feeling better than you are, but what you see is simply a snapshot of someone’s life. It isn’t their whole life, and nor is it a realistic picture of what is happening in their life. It is what that person wants people to see. Success isn’t social media-oriented. If you are feeling “less than” due to what you see, then look at your own life and make real-world changes that could help you feel more successful and fulfilled in your life.
If seeing others unhappy on social media makes you happy then unhook because this is not healthy. It is a way to justify and avoid your own unhappiness as comparing yourself to others and what they are posting.
Attention, whether it’s positive or negative can draw you into social media. We can get sucked into it to fit in, to feel worthy, to get into an imaginary world to escape our own. Social media makes us feel a false sense of connection, but how real is a connection based in cyber-space. If you have lost yourself to these connections as being the most important in your life, then there is a reason to be mindful of this so you can focus on being connected and happy in your real-world life.
Cleanse Your Presence—your brand—is the most precious thing you can give to yourself and also to others. If you unhook from computer-land, perhaps you will be less tempted to multitask during face-to-face encounters by being distracted by tweeting, email, “Facebooking” or “Instagramming.” It’s this type of simple but powerful understanding that can help us tame the compulsion to digitally connect when it compromises physical connection. Self-awareness is such an important step. If you realize why you’re turning to technology in times when the connection or learning new information isn’t critical, you’ve made the first step to reconnecting with yourself. Spring clean and get back to the real world.
Sherrie Campbell, Ph.D. is a veteran, licensed Psychologist with two decades of clinical training and experience providing counseling and psychotherapy services to residents of Yorba Linda, Irvine, Anaheim, Fullerton and Brea, California. In her private practice, she currently specializes in psychotherapy with adults and teenagers, including marriage and family therapy, grief counseling, childhood trauma, sexual issues, personality disorders, illness, and more. She has helped individuals manage their highest high and survive their lowest low—from winning the lottery to the death of a child. Her interactive sessions are as unique and impactful as her new book, Loving Yourself: The Mastery of Being Your Own Person.
She earned her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology in 2003 and has regularly contributed to numerous publications, including Intent.com, Beliefnet.com, DrLaura.com, and Hitched.com. She is also an inspirational speaker, avid writer, and proud mother. She can be reached at Sherriecampbellphd.com.
Loving Yourself: The Mastery of Being Your Own Person is available on Amazon.com and other fine booksellers.